Category Archives: Uncategorized
TGIF: The Dead South In Hell I’ll Be in Good Company
So I find some reminiscent styled music quite enjoyable with a country lyric, and little polka beat. Hope you can enjoy it as much as I.
Un-Maxim: disinterest
CUBICLE INCURSION : Plants Delimited (Day 1)
The Setup
It all started when a baby spider plant strayed across the border onto my neighbors cubicle area. Let’s call my neighbor “Grappa”, he likes his office stuff on his side, and other peoples in their side. This is perfect and how life should be, but since I have always wanted a dispute over “range”; too much MeTV reruns of Bonanza & MASH. I escalated it quickly to Indoor Plants Jungle versus Desolate Metal Wasteland.
So I went to on Dollar Tree to buy two sets of Army Men, brown and green. Once I catapulted his troops over the divider the lines were quickly setup.
• Example of how the Grappa’s Army Men were delivered, Industrial Light & Magic didn’t do the FX.
Basically, each of us comes in, checks to see what the other has done. It is often days before one of us actually does something. Since Grappa is an Early Bird and I’m a Late Cog, each of us has plenty of time to setup. Movements include knocking down troops with balls or TP roll, placing cups over men, entangling men, having plants attack, bringing in other toys to menace, placing post-it’s with sounds (POW!, bang, boom, etc) or other effects. The rules are humor, surprise, delight, and low key; it is a work environment and no one wants a visit to HR. Not that I dislike HR, I just prefer to see them socially at the coffee machine.
The best thing about this play is there are few rules, just creativity at large, and an excuse to go into the toy section. Plus the house plants seem to enjoy the added attention. ◄
• Purple Velvet Plant (Gynura sarmentosa) on the edge of the delimited zone
Where do all the birds go when it rains?
I think this is a universal question that most have thought about at one time or another. I suppose most people hope they are someplace dry. Not just under a branch, or in an English laurel bush. My inner child’s imagination sees birds behind little doors with candle size fires keeping warm. My rational self-knows that is complete hog wash, but it is what I hope. I’m going to use this as an ice breaker with folks and to needle my friends with and see what they say. Found a children’s book on Amazon about this Where Do All the Birds Go When It Rains? It just seems a very fundamental question that is answered like a child, “They go hide in their nests.” But that’s not true, did my parents or grandparents tell me that, or did I deduce it?
<Google returned a bunch of interesting discussions on this, but I want to know the folks around me better>
Storks Bring The Baby!
BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion. There have been famous babes; for example, little Moses, from whose adventure in the bulrushes the Egyptian hierophants of seven centuries before doubtless derived their idle tale of the child Osiris being preserved on a floating lotus leaf.
Ere babes were invented
The girls were contended.
Now man is tormented
Until to buy babes he has squandered
His money. And so I have pondered
This thing, and thought may be
‘T were better that Baby
The First had been eagled or condored.
—Ro Amil
Post-Mayan Apocalypse Supper Invite
Location: Death Valley National Park
Time: impending, Mayan Doomsday Calendar on December 21st, 2012
BYOB: et al., see below
So I’m planning the menu for the Judeo-Christian post-Mayan Apocalypse supper after the Friday the 21st of December, 2012. Now traditionally the menu includes thee Behemoth, Leviathan, and Ziz (see Cabal myths, Messianic Supper). Now the good Catholics can only have fried Leviathan that Friday, so I think this Messianic meal will be later in the week, Sunday sounds best. Plus, I don’t think the logistics of filling a volcano with cooking oil to deep fry the Leviathan is practical, let’s not even talk about eggs and bread crumbs needed for breading. I will be poaching the Leviathan, this is just the easiest since the seas will be boiling anyways, with a side of steamed clams, urchin, seaweed, and everything else from the sea.
The behemoth should be driven into an oak forest to be killed. We will then light the forest to smoke and BBQ it in place. Roast mushroom side with a squirrel-acorn canapé starter. Other hors d’oeuvres may present themselves if there is time to plate them. Again, if there is time, I would like to marinate the carcass in some amount of the 3+ billion surplus liters of red wine produced in the world last year.
The Ziz presents the most unpredictable ingredient component in the meal, the best case scenario is to kill it on a salt flat and desiccate the carcass skin for a few days, weeks or a year. I’m going for a crisp skin like Peking Duck. We’ll then use solar flares and secret government death rays to bake and then broil the skin to a delectable crisp state. We will need to get all of the OJ stored in concentrate to make the à l’Orange sauce.
This event is BYOB, although if JC shows up, we’ll ask him to transubstantiate water into a good chianti to go with the fava bean salad. Please don’t bring any stray dead monsters, titans, or corpses of giants to add to the meal. This is a kosher meal, and none of those are kosher. Giants and Titans seem like cannibalism to me, and there will be plenty of time & necessity for that later. Please bring some greens, vegetables, and beans. Also bring your own silverware, cups, bowls, and plates. Otherwise, you will be eating off of hubcaps using the splintered remains of our society as utensils. Children are welcome we will be showing “Nemo” to keep them calm. If you have any allergies, well, you’ll have to suck it up and just try the beasts of legend. Although it would suck to make it through the rapture and just die of anaphylactic shock once you’re one of the inheriting-meek/chosen-ones of the dirt-post-apocalptic world.
Bless Y’all and see you on the other side.
CloneZero 